# The prompt I run before every conversation I'm dreading

From the tuitiv free library: tuitiv.ai/free/hard

## What's on the one page

1. **What happened, not what you've decided it means.** "He ignored my email" becomes "he hasn't replied in six days".
2. **The one thing you need from the conversation.** One. Not four. If there are four, it makes you choose.
3. **A first line that isn't an apology or an attack.** The fact, the impact, a question. Under forty words.
4. **The three ways they're most likely to respond.** With a calm, two-sentence answer to each that stays on the fact.
5. **One clean sentence you could say out loud.** What you're asking for, and by when.

## What goes in the brain dump

- What happened, with dates if you have them
- What you've already said or done about it
- What you're worried will happen in the conversation
- What you actually want to be different afterwards
- Anything about them that matters: how they take feedback, what's going on for them
- How you feel about it. Yes, really. It's how the prompt separates the story from the fact.

## Set-up steps

1. **Brain dump first, by voice if you can.** Use the list above. Five minutes. Don't edit.
2. **Paste it into prompt 01.** Read the fact and story columns twice. Most people get their first surprise there.
3. **Rehearse the opening out loud.** Prompt 02 plays the other person, so you can try your opening and hear the pushback before it's real.
4. **Take the page, not the laptop.** Write the opening line and the request on a card. Leave the laptop outside. The conversation is between two humans.
5. **Write it up afterwards.** Prompt 03 turns what happened into a short, fair note of what was agreed, while it's fresh.

## The prompts

### 01. Prepare the conversation

Paste your brain dump where it says.

```
I need to prepare for a hard conversation. Here's my brain dump of the situation, as it comes out: [paste or dictate].

Work through it in this order and don't skip steps.

1. Facts vs story: list what actually happened (observable, dated, checkable) in one column, and the story I've built about it (interpretations, assumptions, feelings) in the other. Be strict.
2. What I need: from the facts, tell me the one thing I actually need from this conversation. One. If you see four, rank them and pick.
3. Opening line: write an opening that states the fact, names the impact, and asks a question. No apology, no attack. Under 40 words.
4. Pushback: the three most likely ways they'll respond, and a calm two-sentence reply to each that stays on the fact.
5. The request: one clean sentence, in plain words, that I could say out loud, asking for what I need and by when.

Give it all back on one page. Then tell me the one thing I'm most likely to do wrong in the room, based on how I described it.
```

### 02. Practise with the other person

Claude plays them. It can be uncomfortably realistic.

```
Play [their role, not their name] in this conversation. Here's what they're like: [how they usually take feedback, what's going on for them].

I'll open with the line from my prep. Respond as they realistically would, pushback included. Stay in character for four or five exchanges.

Then step out and tell me where I drifted from the fact, where I softened the request, and one thing to do differently.
```

### 03. The note of what was agreed

Straight after, while it's fresh.

```
Here's my rough account of the conversation I just had: [paste or dictate].

Write a short, fair note of what was agreed: the facts we both accepted, what each of us will do and by when, and anything left open. Neutral language, no judgement, under 150 words.

Then tell me whether I got the one thing I needed, and if not, what the next step is.
```

### 04. The day after

For when it didn't go to plan.

```
The conversation didn't go the way I planned. Here's what happened: [paste].

Separate what they said from how I interpreted it. Tell me what's actually been damaged and what hasn't, and whether I need a second conversation or should let it settle.

Draft a short follow-up message that resets things without reopening the whole argument. Under 80 words.
```

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