Before the conversation you're dreading

What happened, not what you've decided it means.

"He ignored my email" becomes "he hasn't replied in six days".

The one thing you need from the conversation.

One. Not four. If there are four, it makes you choose.

A first line that isn't an apology or an attack.

The fact, the impact, a question. Under forty words.

The three ways they're most likely to respond.

With a calm, two-sentence answer to each that stays on the fact.

One clean sentence you could say out loud.

What you're asking for, and by when.

Prepare the conversation

Paste your brain dump where it says.

I need to prepare for a hard conversation. Here's my brain dump of the situation, as it comes out: [paste or dictate].

Work through it in this order and don't skip steps.

1. Facts vs story: list what actually happened (observable, dated, checkable) in one column, and the story I've built about it (interpretations, assumptions, feelings) in the other. Be strict.
2. What I need: from the facts, tell me the one thing I actually need from this conversation. One. If you see four, rank them and pick.
3. Opening line: write an opening that states the fact, names the impact, and asks a question. No apology, no attack. Under 40 words.
4. Pushback: the three most likely ways they'll respond, and a calm two-sentence reply to each that stays on the fact.
5. The request: one clean sentence, in plain words, that I could say out loud, asking for what I need and by when.

Give it all back on one page. Then tell me the one thing I'm most likely to do wrong in the room, based on how I described it.

Practise with the other person

Claude plays them. It can be uncomfortably realistic.

Play [their role, not their name] in this conversation. Here's what they're like: [how they usually take feedback, what's going on for them].

I'll open with the line from my prep. Respond as they realistically would, pushback included. Stay in character for four or five exchanges.

Then step out and tell me where I drifted from the fact, where I softened the request, and one thing to do differently.

The note of what was agreed

Straight after, while it's fresh.

Here's my rough account of the conversation I just had: [paste or dictate].

Write a short, fair note of what was agreed: the facts we both accepted, what each of us will do and by when, and anything left open. Neutral language, no judgement, under 150 words.

Then tell me whether I got the one thing I needed, and if not, what the next step is.

The day after

For when it didn't go to plan.

The conversation didn't go the way I planned. Here's what happened: [paste].

Separate what they said from how I interpreted it. Tell me what's actually been damaged and what hasn't, and whether I need a second conversation or should let it settle.

Draft a short follow-up message that resets things without reopening the whole argument. Under 80 words.